I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
