There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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