I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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