ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize