You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can't special order awesome
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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