my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
