what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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