i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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