accomplished twins. life is a go
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
