Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
