he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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