How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
