Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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