Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
