I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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