Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
