Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Bring me that man meat
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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