so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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