I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
