what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
