I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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