I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
