i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
