Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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