That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
