Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
