I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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