I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I faked an abortion last night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
