you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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