Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
