So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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