So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
