I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
