He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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