There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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