new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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