I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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