You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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