can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
