all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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