she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
