YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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