Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
