After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
