started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
