they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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