i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize