Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
