Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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