tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
