I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize