# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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