if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
