shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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