No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
