Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
