would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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