Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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