that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
