i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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