I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
