none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
